Fat Friday

So..I've been struggling with my weight. My problem (besides being over 40 and having my metabolism just stop) is that I truly love to eat. I love to cook and then I love to eat. I like almost any kind of food, but my favorites are those that are just not good for me. I have been on many diets and some very successfully, but eventually, I get lazy and gain the weight back. I'm currently heavier than I've ever been, and I need to lose around 20-25 lbs. I realize that comparatively speaking, it's not crazy obese, but it bothers me. No.. I'm obsessed with it lately. If it bothers me SO MUCH, why can't I get serious about losing the weight again? I know how to do it! I've never been one to exercise. I hate exercise. I hate to sweat, I hate to push myself, and I have yet to experience these "endorphins" I hear so much about. I think it's about as real as the green flash Hawaiians see when the sun goes down over the Pacific Ocean. (I don't buy it, I've never seen it)
I'm working out more. It's not just a weight issue, but a health issue. My blood pressure is high (enough that I'm on meds now) and I'm pre-diabetic. I have to get this under control before I have serious health issues. Today I hit the gym and did almost a full 40 minutes on the eliptical. That is HUGE for me. I keep waiting for those endorphins and to finally slip into that mode where "you just don't feel the pain anymore"  It may be another wive's tale...I'm not sure.
I'm eating healthier most of the time. I'm cutting out the snacks and cutting back on the evening wine. Eventually, I'm hoping to hit a routine I'm comfortable with and can live with.
Right now, I'm particularly motivated because of some upcoming events. Our youngest daughter (the other Callie..yes we have two..) graduates high school at the end of May. I refuse to show up to an event where Nick's ex-wife will be and be looking like a cow. Secondly, we will PCS this summer and I would like to look fabulous and healthy when we hit the east coast. Motivation usually helps... motivation that includes competing with someone's ex..almost always does it!