Just the Two of Us... Anniversary Weekend

Since Alex spent the weekend with his mom in Boston, the hubby and I decided to have grown up time. It was our anniversary weekend, after all.
Honestly, we relaxed a lot on Saturday and decided to head over the bay on the water taxi to have dinner that night. The place we catch the water taxi is literally outside our door. It's not a bad walk at all and it's just a beautiful setting. We arrived at the dock a little early and shared it with these guys.

The water taxi was WAY crowded but still a fun ride. I never get tired of jetting around the harbor looking at all the amazing boats.
We headed over to the Brick Alley Pub and Restaurant in town to put our name on the list. We knew it would be a wait and were prepared for that. Fortunately for us, they had a great bar upstairs and we were lucky enough to get two seats right there. We enjoyed a drink (or two) and headed down to our table. We sat outside and it was a beautiful evening. We had a delicious dinner and really were able to enjoy ourselves. This restaurant was really very reasonable and the decor was so fun. Lots of vintage signs, sporting equipment and other fun stuff.
After dinner we wandered around town a bit. Newport is a very old town here on the actual island of Rhode Island. It's very cute with tons of restaurants and shops. A lot of the streets are still cobble stoned. I absolutely love it. You will see little side streets filled with people, bars, ice cream stands, chowder stands, etc.

This is one of those streets. You can't really tell, but the trees have white twinkle lights in them. Music is playing and the smells are wonderful!

I love the old buildings like this one. We saw this on our walk back to the wharf to catch our ride. We grabbed a coffee (the weather was chilly) and sat on the little bench awaiting our water taxi.

This was our view. Yes, that's a huge boat out there. Actually, there are several. I'm amazed at the money here. I'm anxious to see how it looks when the weather gets cold and the tourists go home.
Here was our ride:

Not quite the same, is it?
To really celebrate our anniversary, we bought lobsters while we were out Sunday afternoon. We cooked those bad boys up and had them at home. They were delicious!!

I don't have the right equipment yet, so here is how we cracked the shells.

Yes, they are pink. No, they are not my husband's pliars, they are mine. I can't have anyone talking smack about my strong soldier.

Speaking of...

He intended this photo to only go out to our kids via text message. Little does he know, it's now on my blog :)

This morning we drove to Boston to get our boy. No, that wasn't our original plan. Yes, we were going to meet his mother half way sometime this afternoon. She changed her plans at the last minute and went home early. We spent all day in the car instead of at the baseball game, picking up the kid, and having dinner out. That woman!  It's a good thing her change took her away sooner rather than later. I'd had enough already.

Football, Hurricanes, and Ex-Wives...Oh My!

The last few days have been busy, but if I were to tell you what's been going on, it doesn't sound like much.
Thursday we sent our boy off to school. The first day of school just happened to be the day of the first varsity game (pre-season exhibition) so our athlete got to wear his jersey to school. How cool is that? He was pumped!

I was going to say he's been very patient with me and the camera, but honestly, he's eating up the attention. He actually used this photo as his new facebook profile picture. He came home from school just bubbling. I think that's quite an accomplishment considering it was his first day, at a new school. We've done well preparing him for this!

I took a similar photo with my phone so I could text it to his mom. I got no response from her. I guess that's one reason he's loving the attention we're giving him.

We attended the football game, which was just a half game really, and was for a fundraiser. Our boy didn't play. Officially, he's a member of the junior varsity team, but they let him dress out and stand on the sidelines with the older boys. He loves it.

Friday brought preparations for Hurricane Earl. We put all our lawn furniture away or secured it to the fence with bungees. I can't decide if my husband is a genius or if he's just crazy.

The sky grew grey and the rain started falling.... and I got excited. Then nothing else happened. The wind didn't blow, the rain didn't fall sideways, limbs stayed in the trees and we felt a little silly for all the prep. Better safe than sorry, right?

After school Friday the ex showed up to pick up our boy to spend the weekend with him in Boston. Oy. She's never been to my house. Some of our stuff used to be her stuff. She's loud and obnoxious and I just KNEW she'd say something about at least one item. Sure enough, she walked in the door, and immediately said she needed to go to the bathroom. We pointed her to the powder room and I just shook my head. Who does that? I would NEVER go to the bathroom in her house or my ex-husband's house for that matter. I would get in, grab a kid, and get out. Noooo... not her. She comes out and says "Wow, that bathroom looks familiar"  THEN she sees a small Americana quilt hanging in my hall and says "oh.. is that my quilt?"  Well, she said half that sentence, then corrected herself. She changed it to ... I remember that quilt, it sure is pretty.

I seriously had to make myself sit down in the living room so I wouldn't roll my eyes in front of her.

She touched a few things (my husband told me, I was hiding in the other room) as she walked to Alex's room as if she were remembering them fondly. Please. Maybe I should've reminded her that she left this wonderful man and all this Army life behind her. Regrets are a kick in the butt aren't they?

Anyway.. Alex left and we relaxed.

Today, post hurricane, is beautiful. We have all the windows open and the back yard put back together. My husband couldn't stand it and started very early this morning.

                             

He was out there before 7:00 AM...seriously.

We're headed across the bay in the water taxi tonight for dinner. I know my beautiful weekends are numbered and that the taxi stops running at the end of September so I want to take advantage of it. 

Tomorrow is our sixth anniversary. This time six years ago we were hosting our "rehearsal" dinner in our Texas backyard. We hired a chuckwagon with a few cowboys and had steaks cooked over a fire pit. My husband's yankee family loved it! Here are a few photos of that evening.

I hired the chuckwagon on the advice of a friend. I hadn't experienced it or met the gentlemen in charge. This guy showed up at my house a few days before the event to check out the yard and the best way to get the wagon back there. When I answered the door and saw him standing there, the first words out of my mouth were, "Oh, you're just perfect!"

It was a great evening and we had so much fun. I would love to do something like this again. (not get married, just have a great party!)

Routine and a Weekly Menu

There is nothing like chaos to make me crave routine. My life has been full of chaos for months now and I'm so ready for routine I can taste it.
This move has kicked my butt and I am still struggling to find a schedule and routine here.
Nick is in full swing of his school now, so that's step one in setting up the schedule. He's out the door by 7:30 and this is a very good thing. Alex's schedule is a little more crazy with two a day football practice every other day for a week, once a day the other days, and then last week having only afternoon practice. This week he's back to afternoon practice only and starts school on Thursday. FINALLY! I can't wait to have everyone out of my house by 8:00 and be able to get some things done.
Another step I take toward routine is to make a weekly menu. It makes grocery shopping easier and it frees up precious brain power daily. After last week's crazy week of moving Callie into her dorm and five days of fast food and junk food, I am craving a normal menu as well.
This week's menu:
Sunday- Taco Soup with Cornbread
Monday- Roast beef with potatoes, carrots and spinach
Tuesday-Roasted chicken breasts with Pomegranate and chipotle sauce (thank you tastefully simple), rice and roasted asparagus
Wedneday- Leftovers
Thursday- homemade pizzas
Friday morning Alex's mother flies in for the weekend. I have no idea where she's staying or what her plans are because she's chosen not to share them. She's flying into Boston and I don't know if she plans to stay up there, or is driving down here. Alex keeps saying "I think she's going to look for a place to stay here in the area"  I truly hope she has already booked a room because this is a huge tourist area and it is Labor Day weekend. Every hotel and Inn has been booked here all summer.
 I also hope she realizes the boy has school on Friday and won't be available until late afternoon. She hasn't bothered to inquire of his football schedule or if he needs to be anywhere over the weekend. I'm dreading this weekend because of her visit, but trying to remain positive because we will be kid free and it's our sixth anniversary.
So, in spite of my excitement of routine coming back, after writing this I realize that my routine really won't start until next week. Ex-wife coming to town = chaos to me. Prayers please that I keep it together.

Lessons Learned

This will be my final post on my weekend with the kids and ex-wife. I have given her too much attention and that was not my intent. I wrote this at the airport as we were waiting to come back to Honolulu.
As I reflect on my weekend, I realized that in spite of the drama and dread, I did come away with something.
After the gathering at the ex’s house on Saturday, and dinner out with the crowd, I saw her for what she is. She is an insecure, bitter woman. She was trying so hard to impress everyone that she came across as loud and crazed. She made a few comments to my husband and in-laws to prove to everyone that she knew them all so well. It couldn’t have a comfortable thing for her boyfriend and it certainly didn’t make me happy.
I had spent so much time and energy dreading the weekend and worrying about looking better than her that I missed the point of the whole thing. I saw my husband’s daughter soak up the attention we gave her like a sponge. For the first time in a very long time she looked truly happy. She tends to shrink in the company of my daughter because my kid is so outgoing and has such personality that it intimidates the other kid. I know now why she cowers under that kind of behavior. Her mother steals the show all the time. The girl never has the full attention when mom is around because she demands all of it.
I also walked away knowing how blessed I am. I have the wonderful husband this woman was too stupid to keep. I have the life that so many would love to have. Her loss is definitely my gain.
The biggest revelation I walked away with was that I am better than her. I didn’t care anymore who looked better in a dress or who had nicer shoes. I looked around her house and at her pitiful attempt to entertain with her pre-packaged food on simple plates instead of the home cooked food on lovely serving dishes that I would have provided. I watched her serve slices of a cookie monster cake she picked up as an afterthought on coffee cup saucers instead of desert plates and knew I had it better. I know those things are petty but they made me feel good.
I don’t have to compete with her, I already beat her. I’m happy, I make her ex-husband happy and that truly is the best revenge.

Graduation Day

After a Saturday of 90 degrees, Sunday morning dawned cloudy and cool. It finally felt like I was in North Dakota.

We had a leisurely morning and headed over to graduation around 1:00. The ex was calling before we could even park telling us where to sit. She had apparently saved seats for all of us. Wasn’t that nice?
I have never been to a graduation that displayed such disrespect for others and the administrators who were holding the ceremony. In spite of being told to hold applause so we could get through the graduates quickly, you still had a few that blew air horns, screamed, blew whistles etc. It really messed up the kid who followed the family that wanted to pretend they were at a football game. I would have been severely ticked if I missed my child’s name being called because of the lack of respect from the family ahead of me.
At the end of the ceremony it was complete and utter chaos. Instead of marching out and around the coliseum, the graduates dispersed among the crowd. Instead of waiting until the grads were all out of the seating area, the crowd dispersed among the students. It was a mess. People were trapped and couldn’t find their kid for a long time. There was no security, no one to enforce the rules and total disrespect for others.
We went on to an after party which included the ex. She continued her loud obnoxious behavior through the afternoon and ended the party with a hug to my husband. This was not your “casual” hug, but a “throwing your arms around the neck, full body hug” I hate her. I rolled my eyes in spite of myself and then realized there was no way out of the house but to walk past her. I was done. I couldn’t give one more fake smile, or utter one more kind word. I walked past her, intending to completely ignore her when she reached out, touched my arm, and said “See ya later, Paula” I didn’t break my stride, I didn’t turn my head. I simply said, “yeah, bye” and walked out.
That is all for now, this is already a novel. In my next post I will give my personal thoughts on the weekend and my lessons learned.
I’m glad it’s over. The kid is happy and we’re sitting in the airport awaiting the final leg of our journey back to Hawaii.

The graduate with her Grandma, my wonderful mother-in-law.

Phase I..success!

I'm currently in our hotel room in North Dakota. The boys have gone out to do a little birthday shopping and I'm relaxing.
Last night was "the dinner"  But wait, we didn't just have dinner. We were invited (more informed than invited) to a "pre-party" at the ex-wife's house. Drinks and appetizers. Oh Joy. I fought to win this one but didn't. It seemed to be very important to the graduate so we complied. My in-laws, however, were not so eager. We made excuses and regrets for them and showed up wearing a smile. I was greeted awkwardly at best, but managed to pull myself away from the loud obnoxious one and charm her father. Her mother actually hugged me as I left so it went well I think.
We stayed for a little more than an hour and endured a very loud woman. It occured to me that she must be very insecure to be as loud and obnoxious as she is. She definitely demands attention.
We went to dinner at a Japanese steakhouse complete with cheesy chef and hibachi grill. It was definitely interesting. We picked up the check, for 12 people. After my husband had accepted and signed the check and sent it back the ex throws her napkin across the table and hits him with it. I KNOW I showed my shock and disapproval at that point. She had made an ass of herself all night while I smiled and visited with her father seated next to me. At the napkin throwing, I probably didn't hold back. I looked over at her like.. what is wrong with you?? and she makes a writing motion with her hand, apparently that was her way of getting my husband's attention to find out about the bill. Seriously? The whole table saw him take it and pay it.
The best part of the evening was when it was over. The graduate sent a text to her dad thanking us for participating and telling us how much it meant to her. This weekend IS all about her, in spite of what her mom thinks.
Today is the big graduation. After that, we are done with this woman and her outrageous self for a while. I'm so excited to get the boy away from here and have him live with us. After seeing his mother with him and how he reacts to her, I see just how unhappy he is.
I have learned something about myself this weekend. I will share it when I wrap up in a day or two.

We have arrived!

It was a LONG flight. We left Hawaii at 5:30 PM, landed in Minneapolis at 6:00 AM their time (1:00 AM for us) and then jetted on over to the big city around 10:00. I slept maybe an hour, so I'm a little whipped. I'm hanging in there so I can get on a normal schedule tonight.
We have the kids, and my in laws here so we're having a great time.

I do want to mention something I always find annoying when traveling... Public Restrooms. I hate them! I especially hate the ones that flush automatically. You're sitting there, trying to do your business but don't move..not one little bit, because that sucker will flush and spray your backside. Anyone else know about this?
How about when you go into the stall and the seat's all wet? How does THAT happen? Seriously people, wipe it off if you can't do better.
The motion detector faucets are lovely, as are the soap dispensers. However, when I've saved myself from touching those things and have to crank out a paper towel with my hand, what's the point? Really?
Those are my observations from last night/today's flight.
Oh, and the people in North Dakota are very nice, but they talk funny.

And We're Off....

This evening we will leave this paradise of Hawaii to fly into Fargo, ND. Seriously? Who lives there? Oh, my sweet husband's ex-wife and kids. We will see the girl graduate high school (I'm still crossing fingers, I received an email this morning saying she didn't show up yesterday to pay her parking tickets...please, can you just hold it together for a couple of days??) 

I must admit, I'm DREADING this weekend. Not because of graduation. Not because of the kids, I love them and can't wait to see them. Because of the ex. I'm not a fan, and that's putting it lightly. The kid is insisting we have dinner together on Saturday night. ALL of us. Her mother is pushing this and can be heard in the background of countless phone calls, when dad is trying to explain the awkwardness saying "We can all be adults for one night"  Can we? Can you? You haven't proven that so far.
I will be a lady. I will be a classy lady. I will be fuming under the skin, but I'm from the south and dammit, we can charm you while we stick a knife in your back!
Bless her heart, she will NOT see me sweat!!!
Have a blessed Memorial Day weekend. Remember those who have made this holiday for you. Take a moment and pray for a member of the military and his/her family. Remember the ones who gave all.