Going Home

Today I leave my newly enrolled college student and fly back to Rhode Island. This is hard for me. I knew it would be but now that I'm hours away from getting on a plane, the reality is setting in.
I have been this way with all three kids.
I took my son off to college when I was a young 37 years old. Yes, I had him when I was WAY too young. I took him three hours away and cried all the way home. I wondered, "who's going to take care of him"  My middle child left home in a rebellious huff when she turned 18. She lived in town and we had a rocky relationship. She made bad choices and I grieved through it all. We managed to grow close through this, even though she wouldn't take my wise advice and come home to attend school. I left her to move to Hawaii two years later and it was the hardest thing I ever did. I cried.
Here we are, several years later, and the baby is leaving. Y'all.. I haven't been without one of my kids (the ones I birthed) in my house with me since I was 18 years old.
Callie is doing well. She's more prepared for this than the other two were and that's thanks to having a father figure in her life that the other two missed out on. She's confident, strong and oh so smart. I know she'll be fine.
She's crowded into a dorm room with two other girls and that's stressful. She's ready for classes to start so she has routine.  She has her brother down the road as well as his fiance. I KNOW she'll be fine. It's still hard.
I will cry today. (who am I kidding? I've been crying already!)  She's taking me to the airport. I'm leaving her with all the tools she needs to do well. I'm so stinkin' proud, but it's a bittersweet time.
It's a good thing I have a 15 year old boy at home who needs me. I need to get back, get him started in school and make sure HE has the tools he needs to leave home in a few years.
Thanks for letting me have a pity party. I'll be ok, I just need a moment.

On a more positive note, I am ready to be home and to sleep in my own bed. I need routine. I crave it. I haven't had routine in months now. If I don't get my routine back soon, I may lose it. Next week, Alex starts school and I can figure it all out!