Week One

It's been a week tonight that I kissed my husband and said good-bye to him.  I have done very well this week and have remained positive.

I made a set schedule and kept busy, was productive at home on the days I had no other activities and have been feeling very good about everything.  Every night I mark another day off the monthly calendar and every morning I flip the blocks around on the daily calendar to mark another day.

Tonight, as I finished up and turned the lights out in the kitchen, I looked at the clock. 8:26 p.m.  At that moment it had been almost exactly, to the minute, a week since I'd seen Nick. For the first time during that week, I felt overwhelmed at the weeks that stretch out before me.

I forgot my own advice for just a moment. I always tell people, "Don't look at the whole chunk of time, it's too overwhelming. Instead, take a month at a time, plan something to look forward to during that month, and it helps." 

I'll be okay. It's just a weak moment. I have lots of good friends and activities to keep me distracted. I have surrounded myself with things that make me feel good.

 It's only nine months, right?  It's not 12 or 15 months anymore. Don't mind me, I'm just having a poor me moment. I'm going to bed and will awaken refreshed and ready to face another week.

I'd love to hear from others what makes deployments less painful. Keeping busy? Distracted? Counting days? I'm open to suggestions!!

My Own DONSA

I know I say this every time I wander back over to my blog, but WOW, I can't believe it's been so long.
I knew exactly what I wanted to say, then I realized my Christmas background was still up and I hadn't posted since Thanksgiving. Oy!
To say the last 6 weeks or so have been crazy would be an understatement.
Between Nick being gone most of the holiday season, the Spouses' Club's events, our own Holiday Reception I planned completely without the man's help and the kids' visits, I was worn out.
The holidays were bittersweet for me. I thought my mom and sister would come out, they canceled and did not. Like I said, Nick was gone for much of December and I was a little out of sorts about that.
I enjoyed having the kids here and spending time with them.
Now all the kids are gone home, Nick has left for yet another deployment and I'm turning over a new leaf with the new year.
First on my list was to take care of me.
First order of business on taking care of me, was to schedule a day off. Here on our Army post a day a Soldier doesn't work, but isn't a holiday is called a DONSA (Day of no scheduled activities) So, today is my DONSA. I marked it off my calendar, told everyone I was unavailable, and am still in my PJs having coffee.
My DONSA doesn't mean I won't do anything today, it just means I pick what I do and there is no pressure to finish it.
I have to tell you... it feels GOOD!
So, all you busy people, schedule yourselves an occasional DONSA.  I would love to hear what you do on your "Day off"

Thanksgiving

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year! 

After my dad's passing, I knew how important it was to keep my mom moving and somewhat distracted during these first holidays without him. So, I loaded my husband and the boy and we headed to Arkansas for Thanksgiving. I find it ironic that I would have moved heaven and earth to be with my mom this year, when I didn't put that much effort into going there when my dad was still around. I feel very guilty for that, but am trying to deal with it.
We were so lucky that two of our girls were able to join us. One of them is... Jackson's mom!  Yes, my daughter who lives in Hawaii and is the mother of my grand baby was there. Needless to say, I was one happy Grandma to have that sweet baby around for a few days.
Those grand babies are the best!
Here are a few photos of the sweet boy.

I absolutely loved taking care of him. I hope I was able to give mom a well deserved break. That's what I told myself.. that I was helping her out by monopolizing him.

Rolling around on the floor making him laugh. He makes me smile.

 

While we were there, we got to spend time with my sister and her college aged daughter, my niece. They live just down the road from my mom. My niece didn't grow up with a father around. My dad was the closest thing to a father she has ever had, and his loss has affected her as much as any of us. She is struggling to get through these tough times too. All she wanted, while we were there, was to get the decorations out and decorate my mom's house like they have in the past. I helped her get it done.

A photo of my mom's tree when Kirsten and I finished.

This is how we listened to Christmas music as we decorated the house. This girl is retro in every way. She was truly born in the wrong time. She LOVES listening to records like this.

Of course my mom still has all her old records. I listened to these as a child. It was so much fun.

I have convinced the three ladies, my mom, sister and niece, to come to my house for Christmas. I absolutely can't wait!